As I share my stories, my lessons, my journey, I hope to create a place that offers support to motherless daughters, Snapshots of who I have become for my children, and ongoing healing.. Stories are the elixir's of the soul. "The only journey is the journey within"


Thursday, February 9, 2012

Projection Selection...



I was born with a spirit that called me to venture "off the beaten path." In kindergarten, my teacher, Mrs. Bankhead gave us a coloring assignment. I began "outside" of the lines, creating my own crayola masterpiece in the margins.  There was a rhythm to her monitoring. She would glance down at each child assessing their progress. I could see from the corner of my eye that she was getting close to me. With giddy anticipation, I waited for her to praise my blending of colors, and whimsical patterns all outside of the black line in the middle of the page. Would she find me creative and wonderful? A solid whack to my tiny knuckles with a pair of scissors, ripped me out of my wandering fantasy, and into her classroom. Her huge tangled beehive hairdo, came very close to my face and her bright red stained lips shouted, "NEVER COLOR OUTSIDE OF THE LINES!" Her old lady breath, penetrated my skin, and her words embedded into my soul, a frightening realization. "You must obey the rules." On this day, I thank Mrs. Bankehead.  The day I remembered this moment, was the day I shouted hallelujah!! I have spent a lifetime with the deepest desire to wander outside of the lines, and explore. What I realized, is that I was born with this fascination, as a child, i naturally ventured to the area outside of the line, I loved exploring those margins.  When I turned 40, I was finally able to understand that this was a tremendous gift worth honoring. I realized that my life up until then had been much like the collapse of the wave function theory. I was told that I had to "observe" a specific way of thinking, and behaving, which caused the "collapse."  The act of the observer, causes all other possibilities to fade away. I call this "projection selection." It is allowing others to project their beliefs and  ideas influencing your selection. By doing this, the infinite options available, tend to fade away.  So knowing that answers take seed in the question, I allowed my self to question outside of the box. Exploring those paths that may look or feel different. What would happen if???  What I realized, it that within my own unique soul, there are answers that are very custom made for me. The mystery of the exploration has allowed me to see the infinite possibilities. I have practiced observing or focusing in on the one or two choices, that will take seed that makes sense for me. I trust that my spirit's knowing decides to collapse the wave, when it is time.  As my journey takes me off the beaten path, I observe new truths, and the system can then evolve again.  I love to wander with the knowing that I am not lost, not at all!!!

No comments:

Post a Comment